Black Ghost

6/10

This was pretty good. It all seemed to come together well, like it was actually something out of the books. Well done! -Tony

Yeah, can you clarify what the discussion is exactly? As for me, I don't watch much tv. anymore, and yes, I tend to imagine good shows or movies in book ...

You must have boy. The magicness demands it (magicness being the intangible thing that makes me rant). XD -Tony

Plot wise, this is a big improvement!

Maybe if you take the time to consider what kind of society your character's live in, maybe you could base your decision on the types of rights each sex has, ...

Ha! We're on to you CCF!

That's pretty cool, even though it's a rejection letter. But from the look of the letter it seems like they gave it pretty strong consideration, so great job. :) -Tony

The looks of annoyed disbelief passed across the best friends' faces. The problem with this is that you're telling us they are annoyed, when you instead should be showing us. ...

Seriously, who wrote these? :?

Yeah, the same problem has reared its ugly head again. *flails*

8/10 Nice...

And yet, SPEW still dominates. Go figure.

Hi there! Welcome to YWS, it's really great here. If you ever need any help or a critique, just send me a PM. -Tony

Hey greenjay! I always enjoy reading your pieces, they're always so full of action. Good stuff. :P Now on to the critique: I am going to tell you about something ...